There is a message I’m trying to sell

Now that you’re not locked in a cell

There is no need to linger or dwell

Unless you have lipstick on your lapel


Wishing Well

Oh wishing well


There was a tragic kiss and tell

On the romantic pink carousel

When I heard a loud yell

Look out for the slimy green gel

But it was too late and over they fell

Down into the deep wishing well


Wishing well

Oh wishing well


Did someone put on him a spell

This young Alexander Maxwell

Better call now his wife named Michelle

And tell her of interfering Annabell

With whom he had an affair, at the Lucky Lady Hotel

So now he has gone straight to hell


Wishing well

Oh wishing well


So now it is time to farewell

With a glass or two of moselle

We are required to quash and to quell

Now that his body has started to swell

And give off an awfully strong smell

Leaving only his crumpled outer shell


Wishing well

Oh wishing well

© Daryl Barnes 2016 



We drove to the seaside every year – from our inland home

A fortnight spent along the coast – beachcombing we'd happily roam


Many years have passed since this did occur – but I still vividly recall

The time my daughter laughed so much – yet I wasn’t amused at all

I’ve been reminded of this story – that happed on summer holiday

If you’ve got kids you’ll understand – the kind of tricks they like to play


When dawn arrived I woke up – with my left hand clenched very tight

Inside I had a little treasure – which I had found somewhere that night


In my hand was a grain of sand – which I placed in a tub of water

And before my eyes it began to grow – so I called to Kate my daughter

Come and see my treasure grow – it’s now a pebble but soon a stone

We were both amazed at what we saw – like magic we’d never known


We watched it turn into a rock – on the table in our home

Luckily it had no weight to bare – for the size it’s grown all on its own

Now balanced on the tub it sat – it grew to boulder size

The kitchen table out of sight – we couldn’t believe our eyes


From a grain of sand it had grown – what came next was still unknown

Then all at once my eyes were open – I’d heard a ringing mobile phone

But I couldn’t move one muscle – my entire body was covered with sand

My midday nap down on the beach – had not gone as I had planned


© Daryl Barnes 2016




He was the king of his castle – was Castro the bachelor goat
His blood-line gave him royal status – and often he'd gladly gloat
Peasant workers toiled all night – to build for him a craft to float
So Castro could row it into town – so he could cast his vote
He always took pride in his appearance – did Castro the bachelor goat
Put on a tie and top hat too – and a brand new mohair coat
Whilst he launched his new flash boat – he coughed to clear his throat
So he could row along the moat – singing a song that he once wrote

The country folk all waved and cheered – as Castro the bachelor goat
Sang proudly as he passed them by – reaching even the highest note
Once moored safely at the jetty – he then declared and quote
‘Today I christen my flash new boat – which I rowed to town to cast my vote

After marking the ballot paper – Castro was a hungry dapper goat
So he dined at the Regal Palace Hotel – of sweet molasses wheat and oat
But whilst rowing back home to his castle – disaster struck Castro’s boat
It sprung a leak and began to fill – leaving Castro afloat out on the moat

What a soggy sight did Castro make – as he floated there out on the moat
Abusing his peasant workers – for supplying him with a faulty boat
First thing after he arrived back home – he wrote them all a nasty note
Offering to buy a one-way ticket – to a land far away and was remote


© Daryl Barnes 2016




Let me tell you a story – about Cedric the sheep
Who liked to play games - in the back paddock creek
He’d slide down muddy banks - upon his rear seat

Then splash all about - with all his four feet

Whilst clinging to his fleece - her claws digging deep

Enjoying the rough ride - getting a thrill and a treat
Would be his friend 'Lucy' - the Rainbow Lorikeet
Together they’d have fun - fun you just couldn't beat

Whilst Lucy would screech – and squawk and would squeak

Now others of his flock – would say Cedric was a freak
Because he never ever – ever would go off to sleep
Instead late at night - he would sneak and would creep
To an elevated spot - from where he would leap
And loudly he would yell - beep-beep-beep-beep
Scaring all of his family - into one big woolly heap
That wasn’t to be tolerated – so they’d cry out and bleat
Go away Cedric Sheep – go take a ride in a jeep
So with his close friend – lively Lucy the lorikeet
They both ran away – to climb a tall mountain steep
They crossed rugged gorges - often wide and quite deep

Which for a mere sheep – would be quite a mean feat
And both were very lucky – that neither of them ate meat
Because at high altitude - there was none there to eat
But as time passed on by – Cedric became rather weak

Whilst Lucy the lorikeet – found some blossom that was sweet
However Cedric struggled on – with no food for a week
When the weather turned bad – and it became very bleak
Snow fell all around – this caused Cedric to weep

He wished that he’d been born – with a set of webbed-feet
Then on one freezing cold night - in the hail and the sleet
From Lucy's frozen beak - came a tweet-tweet-tweet-tweet
There’s a village up ahead - a house lit up in a street
I see on the tiled roof – a night working chimney sweep
Where inside could be food - and some warm comforting heat
And together we could – eat and finally fall asleep

 © Daryl Barnes 2016




From China we brought in magnolia


The Poms brought in paraphernalia


Because of home sickness nostalgia


That upset the local utopia


So we altered the import criteria


Saving the Kimberly down to Victoria


And crossing the tropic of Capricornia


Native plants grow like acacia


But we’d rather plant an introduced dahlia


In the ancient deposits of alluvia


Making good conditions for bacteria


Which created a new type of phobia


That has a connection in South Africa


And another with our neighbour Indonesia


Who’s a country that’s part of South East Asia


And yet our orders all from America


From a man wearing official regalia


Whilst our Prime Minister thinks he’s a messiah


But instead has turned into a liar


So when he says it’s anorexia


He really means it is dyslexia


Now this story is all nonsense and trivia


So I’ll conclude with a quotation from Georgia


Who thinks Australia should be part of Antarctica


© Daryl Barnes 2016





No comments:

Post a Comment